3/5 stars
(*full disclosure* I may or may not have Olive Garden wallpaper in my powder room).
Whew! Now that that's off my chest like breast reduction, let's talk about the competition....Johnny Bravo's Cucina Italiana.
If you're not familiar with this chain, let me jog you through the rundown:
Bravo's has many locations across the country, and is kind of like a nicer Olive Garden, without the free salad/soup/breadsticks but with lesser lighting and higher noses.
I went in gym shorts and a hoodie, and could feel the staff's frowns lasering between my shoulder blades.
THE EXPERIENCE
1) I've been to other Bravo's before, and generally have had pleasant experiences. This one must be experiencing birthing cramps.
2) I ordered the Grilled Salmon, which comes with asparagus. The asparagus was definitely due for the trash can in its wrinkly old state, but ended up on my plate in its wrinkly old state. A "fresher" restaurant would've been kind enough to say they're out of asparagus than serve it like that.
3) The restaurant closes at 10pm on weekdays (which is later than most places in Cinci) - we arrived at 930pm, and they unsolicitedly told us to not worry about rushing. Plus 10 for Hufflepuff.
4) Our waiter was attentive, though in his stepfather's defense, he didn't have much else to attend to. With that said, he did address me every time as "buddy", which is a surefire way to fire an arrow of insincerity into our interaction.
FINALE
Now I understand why chains get abused on Yelp - when the restaurant is doing $108 million in sales (which the Bravo's group actually did last quarter), it's easy to rip them apart and still feel comfortable that the owner will forever be financially comfortable. (And speaking of comfort, this review'd get bumped up 1 star if the meal came with a comforter).