4/5 stars
I always thought of Kaze as the most posh place in OTR, but missing the juju that its neighboring spaces oozed out of their shoes.
That was all before I visited the outdoor patio and learned how to give a great O.J. (Ordering Job).
Here's what you need to know to squeeze the crazy tasty out of Kazy:
1) The Crunchy Scallop is a top-3 sushi roll in Cincinnati, anyone who tells you otherwise should immediately be removed from your iPhone Favorites.
2) I was just in Tokyo a few months ago trying to take off Japanties, and the Ramen Tonkotsu here holds its own. That, AND it's better than your college Ramen. AND it's $4 during happy hour. AND they let you pay in USD.
3) AND the outdoor tables are conducive to sake bombs.
"How can a table be CONDUCIVE to sake bombs?"
Good question, son, glad you asked. You see, half the fun in sake-bombing is slamming your side of the table, and having somebody's bomb on the other side drop so as to force them into an old Japanese chugging ritual (that the Japanese don't know about). This table does that AND keeps your thighs from getting sunburnt. AND keeps strangers from eyeing your thighs. AND keeps your eyes from eyeing her feet.
*Tip*
During happy hour (4pm-7pm every day, even on the sabbath), Sake Bombs are $4, while Sapporo drafts are $3 and sake jars are $4. By ordering the latter pair, you can essentially get 3 sake bombs for $7 via DIY. *Caution* too many DIYs may lead to a DUI, which is why you should be nicer to your DD. And your stepmom.
4) The edamame is edamediocre, but more importantly, it inspired a potential baby outfit caption: "I love my Edamame." I tried to draw it on myself, but it came out backwards.
5) The Moscow Mule is more like a Russian Kitten - that is, not so strong, but still tastes like communism
6) If you want the best customer service, get Chris the Waiter. He's the one who looks like a Game of Thrones warrior, but serves like a Fresh Prince of Belair butler. #junglefeverdealer
7) Music is not great, but they did play Notorious B.I.G.'s "Hypnotize" which is the greatest love song since Hot Cross Buns. So they pass.
Finally, I wasn't going to tell you this but I'm bad at keeping secrets - there are 2 parking spots on the side of the building that nobody knows about. Also, it was hot as hell that day so this could've been a mirage, so if I were you I'd play it safe and park in the Kroger parking lot.